Multiple choice, your marriage is doomed... or is it?

For those of you who have never gotten married before, there is this test you have to take. It's not really a pass/fail kind of thing. More like a "Here's what you have to work on."
But the questions are ridiculous. Things like "I am shit and can't do anything." Okay, that's not what it says, but some of them seem to want to find out if you're depressed. Very odd.
It also asks about your family background and knowing where you will be financially once married. As Eli said "Poor, but not dirt poor."
The family background part was pretty interesting. I never really thought before how different Eli and I were raised. Eli is second of eight kids that he grew up with (he has a half-brother who lives with his dad). His house was always filled with activities (ask him about playing drug wars as a kid). I on the other hand am two of two and spent most of my teen years as an only child because my sister is four years older than me. She was in college my entire high school career.
Which means I'm selfish and Eli's used to giving in! Ha! Actually I think there may be an ounce of truth in that, isn't that terrible?
I'm anxious to see what the results are. My guess is that we'll score high on spending time together, but will likely need to talk about finances and raising kids. I'll let you know!
Eli's scared that it's going to show that we aren't compatible or something. I'm worried what the pastor is going to say about the spirituality scores. Eli and I are on the same page, but in our belief that organized religion isn't for us.
In other news we're going dress shopping this weekend! I'm pretty excited about that :)

Happy minus-one-year anniversary!

One year from today I will be married. Crazy.

Meet the groomsmen...

Eli has made his selections on who will stand next to him on our wedding day. Obviously they're his friends so I only know them a bit. But I know they all mean a lot to him and will be a lot of fun on the wedding day! So here they are:
Best man: Mike. He's Eli's best friend and they've known each other since middle school. Mike is a bit of a goofball but he's a genuinely nice guy. He's also hysterical so prepare for a great toast!
Groomsman: Cory. He's Eli's brother in law and Jaci's husband (please see the "Meet the maids" entry). Eli says he and Cory are "pretty much the same person." Obviously these two mean a lot to us if they're both in our wedding!
Groomsman: Greg. He's been Eli's friend for longer than he can really remember. They play hockey and disc golf together. And I'm sure they have gotten into their fair share of trouble together.

So there's the rest of the wedding party!

Next on our list is meeting with the pastor who is marrying us. We have to take a marriage test to see if there are any issues we still need to discuss... Should be interesting.

I'm a little stressed

I have a feeling that I will have sequals to this post.
Anyway I'm a little stressed. With all the planning, thinking of money and taking care of day to day things (keeping the house up, work, etc.) I'm a little overwhelmed. Eli works about 14 hours a day Monday through Friday so I'm pretty much on my own with planning. He wants to be involved, but can't make all the phone calls and research that I can do in the morning before I go to work (or at work when things are slow :) )
Then I decided that I want to get our engagement photos taken before Christmas so we can give them as gifts. So add that to the list. Not to mention having to ask for money from Eli's dad for the wedding- very stressful.
Then yesterday while chatting with my sister I decide it would be so fun to have a dinner with the wedding party to thank them for being a part of the day!
Blah. I always do this to myself. Try to do everything at once.
Eli reminded me last night that we're at a really good spot for having a year left to plan. We have a ceremony and reception spot. A caterer and cake maker picked out. The officiant. The wedding party. I'm going dress shopping at the end of the month.
Right now eloping sounds good. And I'm only a month into planning. Help.

Meet the maids

So after much thought I have selected my bridesmaids. In the last couple of weeks I've asked each of them to be a part of my wedding and thankfully they all said yes.
I'm proud to say that I have a crew of smart, funny, incredible women who will be standing next to me on my wedding day. They're each fabulous and are important to me now and in the future. They are:
Maitron of honor: Kris, my sister. She's always been there for me and will be there in the future. She's also my only sibling! She's not afraid of the dirty work- like picking out flowers or which color I should choose for invitations. As maitron of honor she will be the one to deal with my freakouts as the wedding stress mounts. Good think she's used to it :)
Bridesmaid: Britt, my best friend (aside from Eli, of course). We've known each other since college and she's the other half of the Two Most Rock Chicks Ever. I'm lucky to have a best friend like her, she knows me and never judges. She's all around awesome.
Bridesmaid: Jaci, Eli's sister. We've only known each other a short time but I'm comfortable saying she's one of the coolest ladies I know! Her laid-back style will be a welcome on the wedding day. She also seems to have that whole working-mom thing down, and you have to respect that!
So there they are! The ladies who will make my wedding experience fun, keep me sane and be there to celebrate. I'm glad they're up to the challenge!

Hi, my name is...

Deciding whether to say yes when Eli proposed wasn't really even a question. In fact, I think I said "Of course I will marry you!" instead of just "yes." That was the easy decision, the no brainer.
But there was a bigger decision that I had to make- whether to change my last name and take Eli's. I never in a million years thought I would ever change my name. As a writer, my byline is so important to my career. I also have always thought it odd that a woman always had to take her future husband's last name. It seemed like giving up her identity and taking on her new and only identity, being a wife.
And I never was going to give up my identity for a man!
But... love makes you do crazy things right?
So deciding to take Eli's name, to become Mrs. Kari Stenman (Mrs.? What?) was really huge for me. But I made the decision on my own for my own reasons, not because that's just what a woman does.
For those of you who don't know, Eli has a different last name from his parents. His parents divorced when he was very young and both changed their last names in the years that followed. Long stories for both so I won't go into it here.
Anyway, Eli and his brother kept the last name Stenman, but grew up in a family who all had his stepdad's last name. For Eli, it is important that he raises his kids in a family where everyone has the same last name, where everyone is in one family unit.
The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. Granted nowadays plenty of kids have different last names from at least one parent. But I wanted something better than that.
See Eli and I aren't just getting married, we're taking the first step to being a family. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. And part of me felt like I was holding back on something by keeping my last name. Like I wasn't fully committing or something.
So I decided to make the change. To tell Eli, I ordered note cards that said "Elijah & Kari Stenman" on them. I was really nervous, it was like proposing back to him!
Being so great, Eli realized how big of a decision it was for me and was excited that I decided to take his last name!
Now I just have to practice my new signature!